Let the Dreaming Begin….

It’s been 9 months since the deflate gate saga began and last night I sat and watched as Brady and company won again against the Colts….nine months, that is a long time but when you think about it…that is the same amount of time to give birth to a child.

Nine long months, a little child grows and then is finally brought into this world…screaming….a new life has been born.

In some ways it is fitting that the deflate gate saga took nine months because like having a baby, this too has brought new life to a team that actually seems to have been “reborn.”

It has been a crazy nine months, the ebbs and flows, the angry words, the doubt, the fears, the insecurities…and then…

It is all over, the big day has arrived and the birth has been celebrated into the world…

another child has been born…another day, year and life is on it’s way….

But with this birth, the dream of owning a colt is really not the dream…actually, dreams of another Super Bowl ring is what is wanted….



What in Fact Happened Out There…

It seems as if the impossible has happened. Everyone is still in shock…the fact that the Patriots won the Super Bowl is just down right epic.

It seems as if there is no explanation from anybody about how or why the pass play was called …it really made no sense..unless your a Patriots fan, player… I will say Pete Carroll does shoulder the responsibility, all of it. It was in fact, his call….or was it?….

Like a detective trying to determine the case of a murder, Sea Hawks fans, players and coaches are trying to figure out what in fact happened…. And then a light bulb goes on, that the call for the play was NOT from a Sea Hawks coach but from a Patriot coach, yeah.. a coach got into the microphone/ headphones, called the play and Carroll approved the play and well…

That’s what happened and now …we have “soundgate”…another scandal to show that the Patriots knew all along that it would come down to this one play and Belichick orchestrated the whole thing. Ya know, because he is the one who knows everything BEFORE it happens. I can see the detective slapping his notebook, smiling, like a Fox because it is all figured out.

It is decided that announcements need to be made, we need to get out on prime time and expose this conspiracy, we need experts to determine where all the coaches were during the game, who went to the bathroom and …..”soundgate” is very important and everyone needs to know about it.

Then on the other hand maybe just maybe….the Butler did it.

Where is the Profit?….

It seems as if opportunity is all around us. The main thing you need to be able to do is identify that it is there and you can grab it. It is important to note, not all opportunities’ are good, pure, and/or honest.

There are some that secretly do not want you to succeed,  while others really are sincere and want you to soar.  What happens when other people’s motives and ego get in the way or overshadow your success? What are you suppose to do?

Okay, let’s put everything on the table. Why is it that people may not want you to be successful? In fact they may feel that your ability to fail or show weakness may in fact increase their ability to succeed against you. That their ability to mess with you allows them to win the upper hand. Does that mean they are cheating? That they are able to attack your weakness and cut you down makes them …win?

Which brings me to wonder why the big deal of the Patriots and the deflated ball controversy.

The Patriots team is highlighted as one of the best teams in the league and many are extremely jealous of this team. They would like to have the ability to be them and in their attempt to be like them can cause them to appear to have bad behavior and throw stones.

I am a curious person and often ask questions, so, here goes, “Why bring up the deflated ball thing AFTER they blow out the other team?”

Yes, it was a real embarrassing loss and the ego of the team, players and fans were holding their heads. The loss seems to have motivated the controversy to take a dig at a team that dominated the game.

We all strive to be the best and to express that greatness. Many have called the coaching of Bill Belichick as incredible. You have heard  it many times and many would have to agree, he is the best in the sport. But with all that greatness comes the other side of great loss. He has not made friends with the very people who praise him when he leads the team to a win. Wait…when he leads a whole community, fans, country etc to a win.

I ask, “When have you been attacked so profoundly and in such a public arena that no matter what you say, people are already judging you? Is it sportsmanlike to be so vicious or judgmental in your language  of accusation that there is no accountability to the accuser?”

I guess  what I am learning is that I can accuse someone, something, anything and if I have a media forum to report it that it is true. That it will blowup into a world wind of media frenzy and  I come out smelling like a rose when maybe my intent is far from pure. If able I can start a small thing and blow it up so big that the media can only grab the sensational pieces of the accusations and report only what they know will keep people tuning back into the station which in turn brings revenue to them and the station.

So, then the issue turns into a profit for others. Again, everyone has their own agenda. Now a days everyone wants to be a winner, everyone wants to push their way over the top to be the first to tell, to show, to point to accuse and most importantly…PROFIT in money, status and in ego.

So, sitting here writing this I realize that so much here is wrong and it has nothing to do with a football, the Patriots or the NFL but has everything to do with how our society has shifted from being respectful to being downright vicious.

For example, no one talks about how the Patriots DOMINATED the game. That the other team had every opportunity to win but did not take advantage of doing so and that in every game there is a winner and a loser.

That’s football…..That’s life.


Addicted to Your Coffee Mugs?….


It seemed like it was going to start off like any other day but it took a different turn when I reached for the milk for the freshly brewed cup of coffee and….there was no milk.

Actually, there was milk, but when I  poured it into my coffee  it started to clump  and made me realize it was, “less than fresh”. It seemed as if today was going to be like all the days before, so I shrugged my shoulders, bowed my head and resigned to the fact, today was going to suck. A no coffee start to the day was not a good sign of happiness, I need my coffee.

As a wave of frustration came over me, I took the cup of coffee and threw it, “today is going to be different I yelled at the cup as it hit the floor shattering, things are NOT going to continue this way!

And then my day began.

Actually, my mind wanted to throw it but anyone who knows me, I would never break my favorite coffee mug, but things need to change. First off, how I was doing things, including not having fresh milk for my coffee.

I have more than enough coffee mugs each one is my favorite in one way or another. Ya know, the one you bought on that trip to Disney or the one that was given to you as a birthday present. It is a mug, nothing more but the fact that it carries the very drug you need to function in the morning as it wakes you up and gives you the confidence of the day, they all are important.

Sometimes though, the lack of milk or a bad cup of coffee can make you stop liking that certain mug. I do not know, work with me here, it seems that now that I thought about throwing this mug it no longer held me to the memory of how it became a favorite mug.

The violent act of throwing it and watching it shatter to pieces can be liberating. If done with a loud, Argh! or some other sound of frustrated anger, could make one feel oh, so much better. I think you know  what I am saying, the release of whatever seems to be deep with in the soul and taken out on this otherwise meaningless coffee mug, can make you feel liberated.

So, I guess I am saying that when you  throw the mug….make sure there is no hot coffee in it.



The Long Hard Road….

Sometimes the words of a song can make you think about things in your life and they seem to grab the meaning of what you are really trying to say so….Just push play on the video and read ….

It seems that there is so much that can happen within your life that rarely do we really stop and think about tomorrow. We just try to make it thru today and when we rest our head upon the pillow we wish to be consumed by the dreams our mind creates…happy dreams…sweet dreams.

To wake up and try to place your feet upon the floor can be such an overwhelming feat that we mostly just push thru and hope that the daily business of the day will get you back to the dream land that you find in the dreams.

The dark days are not what anyone wants to remember but to not honor them in a small way only diminish the triumphs of the road you take in life. It is not the what happens that matters it is how you build off it that makes you the character you are today. Not one thing defines you or your life; it is the sum of your totals that makes you the person you are and that is wonderful.

Divorce seems so foreign to me but here I sit wondering what the heck happened. It was not an overnight thing, nor it just “happen”

I can say it is a series of events and journeys that brought on the “D” word.

My first introduction to being single again was when I sat down and realized that I was totally financially responsible for me and my daughter. Wow, what an overwhelming feeling . I felt a flood of anger, meanness, tears and total destruction overcome me but anyone who knows me knows that is not me. I sat and stared….

As luck would have it, my Pandora(music channel) was playing in the background and this song came on…I began to smile cause with any major change in your life you look for signs to bring you back to reality. A “Hey are you listening to me up there!” kinda moment….

I read the other day about someone who is a brilliant actress, she is struggling and wanted to give up. I actually think that is what she said in her Facebook  feed..I wanted to comment on it but encouraging words did not come to mind.

I want to reach thru the social media medium and tell her that it will be all right that life’s journey has it success and failures. I wanted to tell her it is a journey..that all will be all right but my negative mood was driving me that day . I wanted to live in the yuck for a little bit longer. I am not happy that I did this cause she needed to hear that she has so much to offer…so much joy to give to all who know her.

See this is what I wanted to tell her and for that matter to anyone else who is struggling…it is meant to be a Long Hard Road.

C’mon…Wake Up!….

10801591_832055080185381_8742538036292751477_n[1]I was slapped in the face the other day. It hurt, stung and even made me cry. It was not because I was in a fight or even arguing with someone, it was because I needed it. A “wake up” moment, a hands in the air “what are you thinking” moment.

It seems as if I had gotten so far away from being rational as a parent that I was acting totally …..stupid.

Some would just shrugged it off and others may say, “that’s okay”, while some would jump in and say, “this is the moment you needed.” I am not trying to be harsh on myself or too lenient either but when you are a parent, you can sometimes act really stupid…yes, stupid.

I knew the day would come that my daughter would drive a car. I just kept putting the thought off that some how that moment was really, really far a way, The other day I was sitting with her in the testing area for just that, her getting approval that she would have a license. Then she came up to me with a huge smile on her face I smiled but somewhere deep in side of me was crying. My little girl was no longer a little girl. She was headed out on her own. Selfishly I said to myself, “I have the car all the time, she will need me to drive her everywhere.”

Then, by the grace of God, her dad bought her a car. At first, I was excited and grateful for such a gesture, then, I realized, she did not need me anymore. She had her own transportation. I began to act silly, yelling at her, grounding her for no reason and just being… a parent.

I was conflicted, could not understand why I was so agitated at the new purchase or why I was just being mean. It was a wonderful thing that she had this new  car. A symbol to her that she was growing up and could now travel anywhere she wanted, what a wonderful thing! In my mind it terrified me. What if she got hit by someone, does she know how to pump gas, does she know how to stop in time? The scenarios raced through my mind. I was not happy, scared and fearful that she would be hurt.

I think mostly I was afraid she would not need me anymore. That she would be a ghost, someone who would see me, “on occasion.” My life has been dedicated to this wonderful child. Each day has been filled with, how to take care of her. I was sad, I felt like she did not need me anymore.

“What!” You think that after all this time all I would do is walk away?” She bellowed at me one day while talking about some issue that we were not agreeing on.

This was not one of her temper tantrums I was used to, it was an adult reaction to someone else acting like a child and that someone else was…me.

The slap in the face. The moment of truth.

I can say that since that day I am more understanding and tolerant of her stepping out. I attempt to treat her like a young adult and even try not to over protect.  Not an easy task but one that I do while rubbing the side of my face knowing that there is a little sting still there.

Are You a Grinch or Not?…

th[7]It is the Sunday after the biggest shopping day of the year and retailers are literally holding on. The shelves have been totally wiped out, employees are tired and the managers, well, they are just praying that they will make it till the end.

Company Leaders are wringing their hands waiting to see if they made their numbers for the big weekend. Some already know their stores made it while others are trying to figure out how to get you back into the store to buy, buy, buy.

If they can not get you into the store, they  bombard your email with cyber Monday deals. Go, shop online, from the comfort of your home. Slip into your favorite slippers and enjoy a cup of coffee while being hit from every pop up ad to buy, buy, buy….online.

Online shopping is easy, convenient and fun. It is a wonderful way to enjoy shopping without actually going to the store and who in their right mind would want to fight those nasty crowds! People are so rude these days. The only rudeness one may encounter from shopping from home is the occasional interruption from a child who whines about something they may not be able to have right away. Even that is manageable; just shut the door.

Here’s the Thing…how much shopping do we really need to do? Seriously, how many gadgets do we really need and don’t most of the Christmas gifts we buy end up in the landfill? How many ties, toys, electronics do we need to consume?

There seems to be a familiar sound rumbling in the air from all of you,

“What a Grinch you are! You need to get into the Holiday spirit.”

Really! Maybe the meaning of Christmas, yes, Christmas is about time together. The time spent trying to make cookies, buying a pretty tree, decorating that tree or just sitting and enjoying friends. Then, maybe, a small gift of love, friendship or just the joy of giving can be exchanged between all of you.  The gift then becomes a symbol of giving, gratitude, or love for another.

Do not miss the point here. Buying gifts is fun but when did it become the main attraction? Why do we allow commercialism take over the simple beauty of a wonderful Christmas holiday and make it a buy, buy, buy holiday?

What do you think?

Are you a Grinch or did you just yell at your kids to,

“Shut the Door, I’m  shopping?”





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