I relish in the fact that I am a patient person. I would even go so far as to say it is a strength of mine but lately it seems as if I have lost the ability to be…patient.
I have learned that when someone says something and they may be TOTALLY wrong, you listen and do not question it. If you do question it do it at your own peril. Sometimes it is not the fact that they are wrong but that you should just listen to them, accept the answer and then wait to see how it plays out. It generally goes back on the right course and the emotional feeling of frustration and feeling of,” Are you really …” (you fill the blank), goes away.
I have found that it is generally the space between being calm and going totally nuts is where the trouble begins. I am not someone to sit by and just let things happen, I am a fixer, a problem solver of sorts. I will add this is a very important skill to have as it guides me through the biggest complications in life BUT even the most logical answer to an issue needs to be filled with calm and NO emotion.
Emotion, that human quality can get us all in trouble. I am amazed at how it can cloud judgment and create a fire storm that swirls up like a tornado in the flat lands of the Unites States. Like a tornado, emotion throws debris everywhere and lashes out at even the most innocent of bystanders. Now the original issue of concern takes on more problems and it grows from there; a so on and so on scenario. Its path creates havoc on everything. Nothing is safe from its fiery and destructive path.
Here’s the thing….life in the military is constantly changing and one has to get use to that fact. It is good to be emotional but try to sound the warning signal before the actual tornado comes swirling. Let people close by have the chance to calm the storm before it brews. Most likely they will not be emotionally attached to the storm. Listening to what they have to say might save you from causing a path of irreversible destruction.
Eventually it stops and in the silence of the aftermath the rebuilding can begin. Cue sunshine and clear skies.
We all have been here…
“The way we talk to our children will become their inner voice.”
The words soaked through my skin and saw me, flaws and all. I sat down, stunned, and began to review the film of my children’s lives.
All of us parents like to think these eleven words don’t apply to us. It’s for the authoritarian parents, the anger-management candidates. Some parents should really take these words to heart, but me? I’m doing well enough.
I thought of last Monday morning, when my son almost missed the bus.
“Come ON!” I hollered.
“I’m looking for my homework, mom!”
“Why isn’t it in your backpack where it belongs?! Hurry up! I can SEE THE BUS!”
Silence. Then, quietly, “I can’t find it, mom.”
I sprinted down the hall…
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My absence from writing comes from how much time and energy I have been spending on trying to figure out our exist from the military world. Yep, we are heading home and my time here in Germany seems to be coming to a close. But not only is our time-serving our Country coming to a close but we are leaving the military life to go home to the “real world”. On one hand I am very sad to be leaving but on the other hand I am excited to be “going home” to a world I knew before we started this adventure.
Home, now that is a question I really can not answer, Where is home? Each time I hear the question from someone I am not sure how to answer. We have moved so many times over the years that I am not sure what to say. I guess, I could say that the United States is my home. Though that seems a bit too cliché. I guess home is where the heart is but that too seems a bit predictable and I can already see your eyes rolling. We have been asking the question over and over again, where should we call home?
Naples, Florida, now that would be a perfect home after all these years of clouds, rain, fog, a little sun, despite what Fox News think about Germany, the sun rarely comes out. Naples would be nice but I am not sure that we want to be among the retired people as that is who lives there. I mean, most are playing golf and swimming in their private pools. I think we will need something a little bit more exciting but I must confess, feeling the sun upon my face would feel fantastic. I just know that I will not want to work and to the best of my knowledge I need to work.
Maybe we should go to New England. Yes, now that would be fun since they have the New England Patriots, Boston and the Red Soxs! New England has a lot to offer us. It seems that would be a good place to go. But….I complain so much about the snow, the cold, and fog. I love the four seasons and the ocean. Naples or New England, which do we choose?
We have not been home to the United States in 3 plus years and the only news we get from home is from the news; good and the bad. I am so wanting to go home to a place that we left and pick up where we left off but that is not the way it will be; I know it can not be that way. We have all grown up and as much I want that feeling we had when we left I am convinced that too much as changed for it to be the same.
So, really, how does one define home? Maybe it is not a place that is on the map like Florida or New England but space that one occupies and tries to make better not only for themselves but for those around them.
So, to say the least the thought of where to live and going home has caused complicated thoughts that leave me wondering ….does it really matter just as long as I can read the signs, speak my mind and be able to live the way I want to live?
No matter how cliché it may be…the United States is my home.
See ya real soon!