I have been wondering how it happened..how I would explain my latest “disaster”…
I am trying to recover from the aftermath of a punch from life…I think that I was wanting and needing to feel very sorry for myself but I have not been able to do it. The punch……does it matter? After all, we all have things in our life that are hard to swallow, to accept or even want to recognize.
I could be angry, retaliate or even try to get even but I am starting to realize that is not what I should do. My “disaster” is actually a blessing in disguise.
I found this video, actually, it was posted on my face book board and it made me realize, I can change what I am doing with my life. I am always so quick to support and encourage others but not myself…It is time to take charge, break out from the shadows and shine in the light of my own dreams.
Here’s the Thing… No one really cares what you do, as long as you are doing it for you. You think that everyone is judging you. In reality, they are really only thinking of themselves.
Watch the video, not once, more than once.Then smile…
It came to my attention that I may have been sleeping for a large proportion of my life. I never intended to sleep away all my years but somehow it happened. Waking up from a dream can be good or bad and now that I am “awake” I see more than I ever saw before, the good and the bad.
When I look back or around I can see the memories, the pictures and recall how I walked throughout the years but can not actually find where I may have met my goals or that I had even tried to reach them.
Now I find myself here in an apartment wondering how I got to this point. It is not that I can not recall how but more importantly…why.
If anything can be learned from the experience of sleeping thru life, I can say I have at least woken up and decided that it is okay that I was sleeping. There are a few people who are no longer with me and that is okay. I think they needed to see that they could be doing something else. That the obligation to watch over me as I slept was not what they should be doing. They need not feel angry, sad, mad or more importantly disappointed for they did what they could, moving on was the right thing to do. Those that are still here with me well, they see that I have become a stronger, better person and are thankful that I “woke up”.
By accepting that I slept so long, one would think that I am well rested. Quite the opposite. I am trying to gain the ground I lost when I was gone away in a dream world. Sometimes I miss that world, sometimes I wish I could somehow go back to the dreams that I had while I slept….
We all know that once you wake up you can never go back….And that is okay, for life has a way of showing you that dreaming is good, that sleeping is okay and while you are sleeping…you can dream of life.