It’s Hard to Grow Up….

When I tell my daughter to do something she used to do it. No questions asked, just did it but now, she is a young adult who by her own right tells me, “No.” At first, I was a little surprised, and yes, delighted in her new found independence but other times I was so afraid for her. Not afraid that she couldn’t achieve the goals she was striving for but afraid that those obstacles and pit falls that had fallen upon me would blind side her in the worst possible way.  She knows right from wrong, she knows there are consequences, she respects others and she was brought up well.

I could see vividly in my mind the crying, the tears and I could feel the pain that she would feel from decisions that somehow I felt were not the best. I didn’t want her to go through such pain so, I would fight with her and fight till somehow the “new idea” would fade away and she would continue on her way. Another disaster totally missed. I was able to sleep a little better at night but, it never stayed that way for long.

It would happen again, but this time I was reminded that she had to make her own mistakes and she had to find a way if it failed. That no matter how much I wanted to protect her, she needed to go. To go and discover the path that would lead her on her own journey.

Here’s the thing….How different is this growing up of a child any different from a new President who seems to fight at every turn? He fights businesses, celebrities, leaders, and well, everyone.  Like my daughter, he gets on social media (which I can not stand) and makes comments that are misunderstood, rude, brash, you name it. Though each one has an image of what they want done there might be a point here to make.

The point being, let them grow up.


Do I Dare Say It?….

It has become quite clear to me that if I wrote exactly how I felt about things…someone would be offended. There would be “hate” mail in my email and I would be called a name or two. So, in not wanting to “offend” anyone…I stopped writing.

Well, that’s not exactly fair nor is it the true solution to any cause. If anyone opposes something there should be respect to the opposing view; no matter how crazy it seems to be. My insane idea by your standards may in fact have some truth or resolution when combined with some of your crazy ideas. That’s how things should work, respect and the willingness to listen, evaluate and blend ideas to have a combined look at things to me makes sense.

Not everyone has this view. Some feel they have a right to shove ideology down your throat and say, “That’s the way it is.” I remember when I was a kid and when my parents said stuff like that to me, it did not go very well. Same as an adult.  What I find different now is that many don’t take the time to learn the history or background of a situation. They go by what they hear in short bursts of information and spit it back out like its the truth.

Whatever happened to digesting information, finding out the truth of the information or even the sources motivation of the information. It seems that many do not have the time or don’t want to take the time to develop a strong well supported foundation to an argument.  Having different views is good, it’s healthy, it’s important.

Where it is not good is when one can be lead blindly because they don’t take the time to think about the history or challenge the motivation of someone.

Moving with the masses is not acceptable, we all have a responsibility to speak up, to express, to respect and challenge.

Here’s the thing….If we don’t, History will repeat its self.


The Show MUST go on…

I know most people don’t care. That they just look at the numbers in a budget. They don’t care because they have no connection, they do not see the value in something.

Don’t let this happen, don’t let the theater be silenced, The show must go on, it is vital to the families and the military community.

Budgets are not easy, cuts need to be made but read this quote from IMCOM spokesman Scott Malcom,

“Our intent is to use our limited funds to provide critical base operating services and sustain the infrastructure that makes the Army ready,” Malcom said. “Is quality of life a child development center or a community theater? Are we in the humanities business or are we in the warfighting business?”

Stars & stripes article

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http://www.stripes.com/news/europe/the-show-won-t-go-on-army-expected-to-close-community-theaters-1.417910

 

Here’s the link to petition this decision and to have the voices of the community heard. Please sign it…

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/fund-us-army-theater-entertainment-program

Anger blurs the words that need to be shared.  The Army asked for my families service and we gave it, with honor and respect. This is not about me and mine. It is about how we coped with the daily pressures of “serving” our country. We served the best way we knew.

The closing of the community theaters for families is wrong and  will harm the development of family members everywhere. Community theaters are a place where all are able to somehow transform to a different place and release the daily stress and pressures that consume a military families daily life. The release from the pressure of living in the Army is needed. Let me remind you, we are not talking about large oversize building that you find in most “civilian” communities here in the States. We are talking about Army base block buildings that are “converted” into places that allow families and kids to get an “idea” about the theater.  The overhead budget is not a large operating budget, this is not a building housing a “Hamilton” production.

The argument can be made that 1.96 million dollars is a lot of money for funding. We do know that the government can spend money in crazy ways BUT I am sure there are other places they can pull money from before taking away this very important community service. For a small bleep of time we could forget the worries of the world and go somewhere else.

I am hoping that this decision is not fully made and that somehow, somewhere, over the rainbow, there is time to change the decision and have these funds put back into the budget.

You can do something to prevent this from happening, to have your voice heard, sign the petition….

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/fund-us-army-theater-entertainment-program

 

 

 

 

 

 


Wake up…Life has just Started…

 

I have been wondering how it happened..how I would explain my latest “disaster”…

I  am trying to recover from the aftermath of a punch from life…I think that I was wanting and needing to feel very sorry for myself but I have not been able to do it. The punch……does it matter? After all, we all have things in our life that are hard to swallow, to accept or even want to recognize.

I could be angry, retaliate or even try to get even but I am starting to realize that is not what I should do.  My “disaster” is actually a blessing in disguise.

I found this video, actually, it was posted on my face book board and it made me realize, I can change what I am doing with my life. I am always so quick to support and encourage others but not myself…It is time to take charge, break out from the shadows and shine in the light of my own dreams.

Here’s the Thing… No one really cares what you do, as long as you are doing it for you. You think that everyone is judging you. In reality, they are really only thinking of themselves.

Watch the video, not once, more than once.Then smile…

 

 

 

 

 


The Long Hard Road….

Sometimes the words of a song can make you think about things in your life and they seem to grab the meaning of what you are really trying to say so….Just push play on the video and read ….

It seems that there is so much that can happen within your life that rarely do we really stop and think about tomorrow. We just try to make it thru today and when we rest our head upon the pillow we wish to be consumed by the dreams our mind creates…happy dreams…sweet dreams.

To wake up and try to place your feet upon the floor can be such an overwhelming feat that we mostly just push thru and hope that the daily business of the day will get you back to the dream land that you find in the dreams.

The dark days are not what anyone wants to remember but to not honor them in a small way only diminish the triumphs of the road you take in life. It is not the what happens that matters it is how you build off it that makes you the character you are today. Not one thing defines you or your life; it is the sum of your totals that makes you the person you are and that is wonderful.

Divorce seems so foreign to me but here I sit wondering what the heck happened. It was not an overnight thing, nor it just “happen”

I can say it is a series of events and journeys that brought on the “D” word.

My first introduction to being single again was when I sat down and realized that I was totally financially responsible for me and my daughter. Wow, what an overwhelming feeling . I felt a flood of anger, meanness, tears and total destruction overcome me but anyone who knows me knows that is not me. I sat and stared….

As luck would have it, my Pandora(music channel) was playing in the background and this song came on…I began to smile cause with any major change in your life you look for signs to bring you back to reality. A “Hey are you listening to me up there!” kinda moment….

I read the other day about someone who is a brilliant actress, she is struggling and wanted to give up. I actually think that is what she said in her Facebook  feed..I wanted to comment on it but encouraging words did not come to mind.

I want to reach thru the social media medium and tell her that it will be all right that life’s journey has it success and failures. I wanted to tell her it is a journey..that all will be all right but my negative mood was driving me that day . I wanted to live in the yuck for a little bit longer. I am not happy that I did this cause she needed to hear that she has so much to offer…so much joy to give to all who know her.

See this is what I wanted to tell her and for that matter to anyone else who is struggling…it is meant to be a Long Hard Road.


While you were Sleeping….

beautiful-dream-forever-dreaming-fashion-flowers-Favim.com-243902[1]It came to my attention that I may have been sleeping for a large proportion of my life.  I never intended to sleep away all my years but somehow it happened. Waking up from a dream can be good or bad and now that I am “awake” I see more than I ever saw before, the good and the bad.

When I look back or around I can see the memories, the pictures and recall how I walked throughout the years but can not actually find where I may have met my goals or that I had even tried to reach them.

Now I find myself here in an apartment wondering how I got to this point. It is not that I can not recall how but more importantly…why.

If anything can be learned from the experience of sleeping thru life, I can say I have at least woken up and decided that it is okay that I was sleeping. There are a few people who are no longer with me and that is okay. I think they needed to see that they could be doing something else. That the obligation to watch over me as I slept was not what they should be doing. They need not feel angry, sad, mad or more importantly disappointed for they did what they could, moving on was the right thing to do. Those that are still here with me well, they see that I have become a stronger, better person and are thankful that I “woke up”.

By accepting that I slept so long, one would think that I am well rested. Quite the opposite. I am trying to gain the ground I lost when I was gone away in a dream world. Sometimes I miss that world, sometimes I wish I could somehow go back to the dreams that I had while I slept….

We all know that once you wake up you can never go back….And that is okay, for life has a way of showing you that dreaming is good, that sleeping is okay and while you are sleeping…you can dream of life.

 

 


Do not Pull the Blinds…

 

 

dogI love my dog Lyndie, she is the best dog in the world. I am sure that every owner of a dog says that…and yes, they are all correct.

Lately though, I have not been the best owner. I must admit that while standing at the window watching the snow blow all around I am not at all excited to bundle up and take her for a walk. She though, looks out the window, and sees something totally different; I wish I knew what she saw. Watching her tail wagging crazy, I roll my eyes and realize no matter how much I wish someone else could walk her, I need to take her out. Snow or no snow, I must go so I go to the closet, grab my coat and start the bundling process.

Maybe this time the wind will not be blowing so hard, it might not be all that bad out there, forget wearing socks, just put the boots on are all thoughts that race thru my head as she dances around pulling on her leash to get me to hurry up and get dress.

I wish I lived in a house, it would be so much easier to let her out. It would only be a quick opening of a door to a fenced in yard and then a quick call back to the door. But no, I live on the third floor of an apartment building complex. I know that there are other owners and every dog thinks they own the place. Dog fights are common and yes,  you would be happy to know, my Lyndie is always the winner. This little factoid does not make us popular among the other dog families in the community and well, I am constantly trying to dodge other owners.

See, Lyndie is the top dog, a protector and really does not want other dogs approaching us. She is a single kind of dog. No matter how many times I tell other owners to keep their dogs a safe comfortable distance they always seem to think that they have a better understanding of what is best.  It use to bother me beyond belief that they would not listen but now I just let Lyndie go at it.  And well, the other owner and the dog learn quickly that they were wrong.

So, when I get dress I am thinking about what other owner might be walking by the door, may be outside and well, socks may be the best idea, as my feet will really get cold.

With Lyndie biting her leash, me all set to go and yes, making sure I have the keys to get back in the building, I venture out the door into the hallway and down the stairs. Each minute wondering what will this walk bring.  Most walks are uneventful because I try to go out when I know other owners would not even be thinking about going out.

I bet they are looking out the window and instead of getting a coat on, pull the blinds.