I have been wondering how it happened..how I would explain my latest “disaster”…
I am trying to recover from the aftermath of a punch from life…I think that I was wanting and needing to feel very sorry for myself but I have not been able to do it. The punch……does it matter? After all, we all have things in our life that are hard to swallow, to accept or even want to recognize.
I could be angry, retaliate or even try to get even but I am starting to realize that is not what I should do. My “disaster” is actually a blessing in disguise.
I found this video, actually, it was posted on my face book board and it made me realize, I can change what I am doing with my life. I am always so quick to support and encourage others but not myself…It is time to take charge, break out from the shadows and shine in the light of my own dreams.
Here’s the Thing… No one really cares what you do, as long as you are doing it for you. You think that everyone is judging you. In reality, they are really only thinking of themselves.
Watch the video, not once, more than once.Then smile…
The golden rule of, “If you have nothing nice to say, then do not say anything at all”, seems to have been lost in some distant vault of classic behavior. I truly show my age when I try to explain this “old” phrase to anyone who will blast away comments on social media as if they can be somehow retracted at a later date.
Patiently, I explain that words once released cause a lot of damage and often times can never be retracted or removed. Once words are said, written or oral can come back to haunt.
My age does show as I continue to try to explain not only to those close to me but to those in my daily walk thru life that caution should be exercised when blasting people. I think that no one wakes up in the morning and decides to say, “Today, I am going to piss someone off and make them feel like crap.” I do believe that life pressures, lack of sleep, frustration or other elements in a person’s life can make them so angry that they can not form the appropriate language to handle a conversation when they finally run into that last person who happens to just set them off.
Okay, some would argue that some people do not have good, “bedside” manners. Though this can be considered an excuse , it can be argued that some people take things much too personal. While others let it roll off their shoulders. Yes, it can be argued that some people need to learn how to grow a backbone while others need to teach and educate rather than scream and demand.
In a society where social media has taken over whether it be tweeting, face book, name any of them, blasting away your feeling comes first. Then thinking comes after. The words are said. The classic golden rule seems to have been changed to, “Say what you want, apologize later…maybe.”
Respect for others seems to have been tossed aside like a rag. No longer needed, but only used when there is a mess to be picked up.
I do not know about you, but it seems like the golden rule is a good one. A good classic rule that should not be changed or altered. It should be posted everywhere and taught. Acceptance for others may be tolerated better if everyone could somehow grasp the simple lesson of this phrase.
Then again, industries that thrive on mistakes would be out of business, tabloids would go bankrupt and all news channels, talk shows, reality shows, all shows would somehow be out of business not able to employ people because they followed an old rule.
The dilemma facing our society today is not a new one. It is in fact an ongoing social issue that spotlights the ability to show restraint and cultural survival to do what is best for you.
Maybe if we educated others in how to treat people, then maybe, just maybe, this classic golden rule will be able to resurface and take command of how we treat each other.
The again… possibly… I am an old fool, who should take her own advise and not post this.
We filled six cargo crates and now living with borrowed furniture. There are suitcases filled with clothes and we are eating off of paper plates. We have shipped a car and have another one for a few more weeks before it heads back to the States. We are exhausted.
Exhausted would be an understatement but as many other faithful military family wives have said to me,” The light at the end of the tunnel is here, cheer up.” It made me stop and think about the families that do this as a career. They move all the time, every three years to zig zag around the world to serve our country. They do it with kids, animals and husbands who sometimes are heading off to the latest war. It made me wonder, how many people really realize what goes on within the military family unit?
It is truly a way of life. One that is full of ups and downs that can not be defined or explained to someone who has not been there or lived the experience. I never really gave it much thought before we, I mean, he, signed up to serve in the Army.
And that brings me to the point of, when he serves, the family serves too. We are subjected to the ups and downs of deployments, changing of duty stations (PCS) and all that goes along with being uprooted from family, friends and even ones own country.
Frankly, it has not been easy and in many ways I am extremely grateful to have had this experience but am really looking forward to going home in more ways than one. Home means that we will no longer be subject to the ways of the Military. I do not have to wake up to bullets being shot at ranges that are near by, hearing mortars that make the houses shake, seeing soldiers everyday running in formation and chanting while running PT (physical fitness) at 5:30am, trying to negotiate driving behind a convoy of stykers or military vehicle’s, learning military time ( which I never really got), showing ID’s at checkpoints or standing at attention facing the flag at 1700 (5:00pm) everyday. I also will not have to watch the busses of soldiers leave in the morning going to war and knowing that some may not return, will not need to learn how to explain to my daughter that some of her friends dads/moms are not coming home, that I had a special letter for her in the dresser draw in case I get a visit telling me her Dad is gone. I can stop worrying about being blackout from the internet and wonder who was just injured, hurt or killed. Better yet, I will not have to go to another funeral. I will not have to worry about getting a speeding ticket on post and have it affect my husband. Mostly I will be able to go about doing what ever I want, where ever I want because I live in a free country, I live in the United States.
How do I go about thanking all those who have helped me go though this experience?
How do I tell them that the kind words, the help, the smiles and patience they had for me truly made me see a small picture of a world that so many judge, justify or do not even acknowledge exists?
All I can say to them is THANK YOU! It is simple, pure and full on the love that the words are meant to share. I know that I will see some of them again, somewhere, either on face book, on television, in person or by chance. I have built a new family that shares a special bond .
With a tear in my eye and pride in my heart, I am grateful for them and the great nation they serve.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
“See”, she said holding it up as evidence. The screen was blank with little lines going up and down the screen.
I shook my head. Knowing that I had no idea where the warranty was or the receipt. Thinking that maybe we really did not have one anyway.
“And, I have a paper due next week.” Her eyes big, wondering what was she ever going to do.
Me, I was thinking about the photos, documents and everything else that was now lost forever. I sighed deeply thinking back to a past summer when she had spilled chicken noodle soup all over the keyboard and screen. I had triumphed over that small disaster by taking a blow dryer to it and drying the keyboard. This time, I could see it would not be that easy.
We all knew that the computers would not last forever but really, when do you ever take such a thought seriously? Me, not till the thing is dead and gone. From the looks of the computer, it was dead and most definitely gone.
It always seems to me that these sorts of technological malfunctions always seem to occur right before the Holidays. I am not sure but I really am starting to believe it is a conspiracy against my pocketbook. That all computer companies gather around and decide that the shelf life of a computer will always end on or about December.
Though it can be difficult to swallow the purchase of a new computer, it is truly to my advantage, or so I rationalize, that I will get a holiday bargain for it. Some sort of dollars off, percentage off or buy this and you will get this offer will be afforded my way. Making me feel okay with this large purchase that generally never includes all the programs you need and therefore, you hear the continued draining of your checking account.
So, off we go to the PX or otherwise know as, “the only place to get an electronic device” and shop the 5 computers that are available to us. We find the best of the lot; middle of the road in price and leave. And yes, it was marked down $70.00 for the Holidays. It took us all of ten minutes to find the one among the 5 that we liked.
It was not long before my daughter and I were having a “discussion” about who in the family would use it, where we keep it and most definitely no eating or drinking near it; we did get the warranty. I think in some small way we were bonding over the purchase of the new computer. We were so happy about the purchase and even got all the programs that it needed…included, no extra charges. For us it was a simple install and not long after getting it set up she was navigating around all her favorite sites.
I sank happily into to the couch thinking thank goodness that should be all for now.
Shouting from the other room I hear my husband shriek, ” Hey, my computer is all messed up.” Thank goodness I know they have more available at the PX and they are on sale…for the Holidays.
The refrigerator door handle broke. Yep, it came right off and I was thinking, “Hooray, now we can get a new frig!” Our refrigerator is old, very old BUT as I was reminded by my husband it is running fine.
Like all of our appliances the frig has a government sticker on it displaying the type, year and DO NOT Remove government property. While adjusting my glasses, I tried reading the blurred writing on the label and barely made out the year. When I finally did, it read it has been here since 1980. That is a longtime.
Time has a way of wearing things down and though this refrigerator is running fine it does run rough. The handle that fell off was rusty and the pieces somehow would need to be glued back to the metal surface of the frig. I knew the handle would eventually fall off because every time you opened the frig, it would wiggle more and more. This refrigerator definitely had character.
This got me thinking, a lot of people have been in and out of its doors. This frig has stored meals, provided a place for holiday cookies, cakes and I will bet a few turkeys and Christmas roasts. I can even imagine a few ice packs been pulled out from its freezer to take care of a bruise or two. Maybe a new refrigerator would not be such a good idea after all. This one may just need a little bit of fixing.
When Housing came they took the handle and told me they would see if they could repair it, see if there were parts for it. He did say that, ” This one may not have anymore parts available. We may need to get you a new one” He told me he would be back in the morning. I told him I hope he can find a way to “fix” the handle and let me keep the refrigerator and all its uniqueness.
After all it is still running fine.
How about a round of applause to this parent and give her a 2 thumbs up for posting this picture. It is time to start showing off those parenting skills that actually make a difference instead of accepting her every tantrum.
Not everyone will support the parents in deciding to have their child hold the sign. That some how her rights to do what she wants are being violated. To all of you who think this is wrong, I say, “Really!” You need to think about who she will be when she gets older if not shown what is not appropriate behavior.
Here’s the thing….parents NEED to start parenting and stop acting worse than their children. They need to stand up and parent. No one said having children is easy. Parenting means holding them accountable for their actions. It is hard work BUT if done with a loving heart and a firm hand, they might just grow up and actually do something that can change the world.
Do not give up on them….be a parent that cares about their future.
To you, the parents who posted this….THANK YOU.
Picture courtesy of :http://www.facebook.com/petflow
What is it about children crying, no, SCREAMING in a store? I can understand a little crying here and there but when there is a full blown temper tantrum and the parent does NOTHING makes me wonder why. Who’s fault is it? The child’s or the parents?
I am sure there are plenty of you who have comments and experience in this field but really, there is no reason for a child to be running down the stores aisle screaming, kicking and being otherwise extremely disruptive. Nor do I expect them to sit quietly every minute and say thank you with a smile.
I guess after going shopping the other day I am sensitive to this topic and yes, a bit embarrassed as I acted as foolishly as the child. As I was trying to decide what brand to buy, I had a little kid screaming at the top of his lungs at his mother. She was doing a half-hearted job to subdue the little guy and continued to do her shopping. I was not able to focus and the high-pitched sound was driving me crazy; my ears were ringing.
It was then that I noticed that I was screaming in chorus with the little guy and it was not till he looked at me in total surprise did I realize I was out screaming him. His look of total shock made me realize I was acting pretty childish. The mother started to quickly move away from me; I think she thought I was crazy. The kid, well, he was no longer screaming. Gosh, it felt really good doing that and I was able to make the decision that I needed to make, now that the little kid was gone and there was quiet.
Here’s the thing….maybe I should have been doing this a long time ago. Gosh, you do feel so much better after you have gone and belted out a good scream now and again. Shopping along side little kids now has taken on a whole new meaning. Maybe they are on to something.